Part 2...

2 - FLY BY

The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if hey catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

3 - ESCAPEE

A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

HOW TO POOP AT WORK

Those of you who are apart of the PFN will use this as a refresher...those who are new welcome please consider this part of your schooling.

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

1 - CROP DUSTING

When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

Dont worry more is to follow...get it...more to follow...hehehe!

For Me To POOOP On! or the parable of The Barren Fig Tree!

Barren fig tree

Luke 13:6-9

Luk 13:6 And He told them this parable: A certain man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he came looking for fruit on it, but did not find [any].

Luk 13:7 So he said to the vinedresser, See here! For these three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree and I find none. Cut it down! Why should it continue also to use up the ground [to deplete the soil, intercept the sun, and take up room]?

Luk 13:8 But he replied to him, Leave it alone, sir, [just] this one more year, till I dig around it and put manure [on the soil].

Luk 13:9 Then perhaps it will bear fruit after this; but if not, you can cut it down and out.

Vs 6 – God is looking for fruit in our lives.

Vs 7 – Mans answer to someone who is not producing fruit is to get rid of it and start over. It is the Bill Cosby idea of parenting “I will get rid of you and make another just like you!” Sometimes we even approach our selves the same way, we feel as though we are not growing enough or don’t love God enough and we think of ourselves as needing to be “cut down” because we are “Taking up room” and “why should we (it) take up the good ground from others”.

I love Gods reply to us, to the Devil (he is the one who brings those thoughts) and what God says to others!

Vs 8 – “Leave it alone” then he says “Give it more time”. You know we get frustrated and want to give up long before God ever does! But notice what he wants to do “till I dig around it and put manure [on the soil]”. I know the manure idea doesn’t sound nice but really it is a great thing. Manure is used to cause things to grow and that is what God is looking to do for you.

He wants to take the time to bring people in your life to put manure on you (LOL man I love the mental image) so that you can grow and mature! Who has God brought into your life to help you to grow, if there is no one in your life to “manure you” (no one to speak into and challenge you spiritually) then ask God to bring people, the right people to help you!

Who can you spread some manure on? LOL man I still love the mental image of this…sorry I know I am a little demented but this is what you get! It is awesome how much God cares about you and I…enough to never give up on us!

Boy Did I Have Some Fun....

Go and check this bike out!

Help I Cant Read...

I am stealing this post from someone else...Is Google Making Us Stupid?


Here is my take on it:

1. I as a Pastor rarely ever use a bible...WHAT!...yep cause all my bibles (8 different versions) are in my laptop and phone.

2. Every sermon i have ever written is in my phone and laptop.

3. ideas for sermons are in my phone and laptop.

4. notes from the last 6 years of listening to Mac, Lynne, or any other preacher are in my phone and laptop. I still have notes from the prior years laying around and have plans of scanning them into the puter!

I do all this because it makes my study time much easier...however i have found that i have a hard time reading books...i can sit down and make myself do it but i have found myself thinking "man if i just scan this thing into my computer..."

Have we all become to reliant on tech to make it thru the day?

Not to sure what to think of this...

I usually am a pretty reserved person when it comes to new stuff I tend to be of the mindset that I am going to sit back and watch it for awhile to see the fruit of it...and this is one of those "not to sure things".

Three Gooooooobers

My three goobers...wow do i love them. I have a love hate relationship with going to open houses and here is why. I love seeing all the kidos that Kelly and I have known thru church all grown up and ready to move on in life. We talk about how we remember them being gangly and awkward in Jr. High and are now having children of there own!

Then it hits me that these three will be doing the same thing at some point in the mere future.

I am excited for the three of them and yet sad for me...cause i will miss them the way they are right now.

Ohhh well!

SOOOO THANKFUL...

Really thankful for the folks in this picture. Steve you are the man and I am very thankful for you being in my life. Gwen thank you for all you do for me!

Mom and Dad you are the best...I am so thankful for all that you put in my life!

A Week With My Wife...

Got to spend a week in Florida with my wife and I think we had fun. Swam at the pool, and tried to do allot of nothing.



We did get to feed these little fellas...which was fun!


I love my kidos...let me just say that to start off. However i married my wife and in about 16 years all the kidos will be gone (connor is 2 and by 18 or so will be out of the house). I really don't want to look across the table and wonder who this person is sharing my house!

So Kelly and I made the decision a while ago...as hard as it may be...to leave the kids every few years and go do something just the two of us. It has been a blast I am continually reminded why I married her.



As you can tell however she is not the best influance on me...she did some sort of pirate thing and got us throw in the stocks!















And Kelly proved just how salty she is by catching this bad boy!